insomnia is getting the best of me

i don't think iv'e written in here for a while. im totally stuck in insomnia mode again. im sure my 2 cups of strong ass coffee don't help but w/e. i wanted to stay up. i totally have the damn nausea...so that doesn't help either. sooo other then me totally complaining(monku monku) umm school started up again. its been totally awesome. i end up going up to my loner mode. i think its cuz im trying to actually graduate so i dunt wanna mess up like ive done before. got my 1st online assignment done..just gotta do one more before tomorrow. yupyup. what else got back in touch with my date thanks to the great advice of my bestie~ i txted him yesterday to find out he was on lockdown at skl from a bomb threat. thnk god hes ok. it was just a scare. im so glad i dunt go there no more.. i saw too much crazy ass shit there. i asked him if hes free next weekend just to hang none of the vday stuff. he said hes not sure. but w/e ill just curl up with a good book and romantic movies like always. hehe. what else... um just worried about my health,but i guess its kinda of a watch and wait and get help from the acutal person with a Md. and not my internet Md. ANYWAYS... dont reply to my rant part its just me ranting. ive had a aweeesome time hanging with melly :) always there to listen to my various rants while i drive ... lol
im not a big fan of this rain... i wanted to go outside today~ well... thts out the window. ill just do stuff inside today! :)
hmmmm im waiting on my job offer. :) YAY.
kinda not excited tht elco is gunna start again ...ill have no life. i get to actuallystudynotsitaroundonmyassandchillafterclass. but itll be good since i learned tht we only use 18 percent of our brain. isnt tht crazy?? tht means we can learn for everrrrrrrrrrrrr.
well...thts about it for now.
<3 the ventin at 2 in the mornin

2 more days

until class starts! how awesomeeeeeee. im excited but pretty nervous attempting to take 19 units..will be a lot! but ill just have to try and try like hell because in the end it will all be worth all the blood,sweat and tears~ ( lots of tears). what else... this has probably been the best winter break so far ( take out the one in Japan) but I got a lot of stuff done, got to go on a date, hang with the besties, make and bake a lot of crap, shop too much and sleep. :) i can't wait to graduate, find a job and get my own place!! ill be soo on my own for once! can't wait! I just gotta keep going foward.
<3 ya besties!!

great friends,good food, great company

This past weekend was sooo flipping awesome!!!! I had my friends come over and cooked lunch as well as a dinner noodle thing tht bunny gave me. We started a grey's marathon outta nowhere. Surprisingly we got mel addicted to it. <3 it! After tht melly stayed the night~ yay~~! Then we went to get her stuff from her house did a CVS run. Tallked like crazy and then knocked out~ I was soo happy~ ^^
What else.... ive been having soo much pain again. I know tht the growth is expanding... I'm not scared...whatever happens in April, I'll find out theres 2 options --( surgery ..or -- lets not think of the other one until we have to.) --either way I'm ready!
I decided to make ammends with my uncle ( father's sisters ex) called him, heard hes not dong so well, and so he mite come to L.A for this last visit before he tanks... I was supposed to take him to my dead mother's father's grave.. then I talked to my dad about it... he told me that wouldn't be right I would be betraying my aunt.. which I can see--- but its like I'm totally not seeing his view my uncle wasn't the greatest man to me but he was/is my uncle.. I mean he sent me a pic of his dog he is caring for now.. the man literally looks like hes DYING. poor poor man.
I was told even going out for coffee was betrayal... fukk family feuds and such.
What should I do?
Can I get a opinion?
P.S The truth sucks ass but I'm ready.

cant sleep cant sleep too much monster with coffee in it.

sooooooooooo im soo in lust or whatever....
i just feel all warm and fuzzy.
i dunt want skl to start kinda nervous but excited about alot of things.
not skl related more like friend and lust related. hehehehee
neways love ya besties~ near and far <3 ya

fun drives

sooo u all totally knw whut went down yesterday. :) teehee i had my 2nd date.. well i call it tht. i got to his house and we watched taiyou no uta (movie) and then i drove us back to my hometown,went to pv mall,went to eat thai food :). Went and got his friend from east la. lol haven't been in tht part out town for a while and then to little tokyo and chilled. then to drop off his friend poor guy doesn't have a car--reminds me of the time i was at csun and took the bus home T_T--so i took him to bell. ( kinda like the strip part of la) then to his house again :) he walked me out...hugged me goodnite. and said he wanted to hangout next week :) maybe maybe not depends on his schedule. im soooo excited for my bestie to meet him! :) <3 ya mel!

yayayayy

since yesterday
a lot of things are looking up.
i get to see a friend i haven't seen in a while on sat.
i get to see my bestie in a couple mins! :)
annnnd i feel like i have a lotta support in my life <3 ya besties!

I'm gunna let you down gonna toss you around gonna make u want everything u haven't found.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myYQWWBCXI0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtAOX5uYZ90&feature=related

I'm sooooo lazy...barely got up at 9. Sat around as I usually did. I spent so much effing money today and yesterday. (today as in 12 in the morning.)
Books,Printer ink, Mp3 Player since its gone... (I'm soo irresponsible. T_T)
Ummm.. sum clothes and a new pierce. I'm pretty happy with it all...but I do realize I'm missing something in my life. Its a J-0-B and a man. I start to feel so happy and sad and all crazy sometmes. Its like when I'm with my friends i'm soo friggin happy. Then I come home to my crazy ass house, I notice if I had a job and a boyfriend I would b able to cuddle with and enjoy reallly start enjoying my life! I'm just so impatient I guess. I can't wait to move out and find a man and start MY LIFE. With my best friends there to support me through it. Well, at least I did one thing revitting this week I got my ear done! :)